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Giving Up

I wanted to share with you what i had written about on Instagram the other day

It’s about mental strength.

I received a message from another user saying: “they know deep down they are strong, but they just give up” – with their workouts, their fitness and just with growing in to the best version of themselves.

I instantly felt compelled to figure out a way of helping this person. I talk about mental strength a lot, since it is something I feel plays a very fundamental role in… life really. You NEED mental strength. It’s the strength you believe you have in your mind that is reflected on to your ability to be strong physically.

I went through the same experiences myself with giving up, time and time again. A couple of days of working out at a time was as far as it went for the month. It was frustrating, to say the very least. To me, it felt as though i had no control over anything whatsoever – because i felt so unable to change the body and lifestyle i was deep down so unhappy with. I was of the belief that I couldn’t workout and change my unhealthy eating habits. I instead saw health and fitness as something only celebrities in magazines had – a dream.

I therefore SEE how the mental side of achieving what you want gets so many people down. Those feelings of inability, of  confusion, of low self belief.
The mental battles. The mixture of guilt yet desire as you see where you’re slipping down but you feel stuck. You don’t know how to pick yourself up. You know deep deep down you are strong, but you have an anxiety, a fear that you’re doing things wrong, that you’re not doing enough. You begin to doubt yourself, you see your flaws, they make you feel down just because you have them… the thoughts of doubt and negativity are then reflected back by your actions… and you give up.

This, I feel, becomes a vicious cycle. It’s how so many of us get trapped for years in this repetitive loop of ups and downs, yet never getting anywhere. Always finding yourself in the same place you started. Nothing changes. You just feel more and more trapped, because each time you think it’s gonna work, but it doesn’t as quickly as you would like it too, and you don’t feel like doing it in that moment…  you give up again.

There’s no surprise people end up believing they can’t change, or wondering if its just their genes. There’s no surprise that fitness remains a problem for so many people today. There’s no surprise that there are such a vast array of ‘quick fix’ diets and products on the market, offering simple, yet ineffective solutions to peoples biggest problems. People want to just get OUT of the trap, without ever even thinking about their mind. They think there must be a one word answer. They don’t realise that health and fitness isn’t a one time solution – it’s a lifestyle you develop and live. Doing so is the only way you’re going to not only get those results you’re after, but also keep them, and live a healthier life that you are happy with!

Every time you give up, you’re wiring your mind to think that it’s okay to give up.

Some people may already be conditioned with this mindset of giving up, whether it be from when they were younger and were never supported or told they CAN do something, or just from the years of always giving up, which has become so deeply embedded within their subconscious. Whatever it may be, by choosing to keep giving in to those urges you only make the habit STRONGER.

When your mind hits a point of weakness, and it’s telling you to give up, and you DO give up, and accept those feelings of inability to carry on, you’re each time confirming your inability to carry on by showing the mind that you physically can’t. The body follows the mind. It is a reflection of your mind. And so if you were to instead push those thoughts aside and carry on anyway, you will have proven those thoughts wrong! In due time, you will begin to see that you are capable of anything.

You’ve got to ride those waves, those ups and downs. They’re there to test you. Each time you get through a low time that you would usually give up, you’re building up your resilience. You get stronger. Train your mind to bear through it and your body will always follow. 

YOU are the strong one.

You have to stand strong regardless of what’s tearing you down.
You have to do it for what you know you’re worth. You have to emotionalise it, think about WHY.

Why? Why do you want to change? What is is about you and your life that keeps you up at night? What do you want besides the commitment to exercise? What is actually driving you?

Your why may be to gain some confidence, just to wear a pair of jeans and feel good! Or to attract a partner in to your life!! It could be something which hasn’t changed for you for years. Sometimes i feel it’s helpful to remember particular times when these problems, which are the result of you not doing what you need to do, really got to you. Look back and see how you felt. Are you still feeling this way now? Or have you made noticeable progress since then?

Instead of dwelling on times when you didn’t have the thing you want, and focusing on what you don’t have, focus on what you DO have. Put it to good use. Take advantage of this very moment and use it to get you just that one tiny step closer. If you have made progress since then, think to yourself: “I didn’t come this far to only come this far!!!”. You are on your way! You have to remember that. The journey isn’t smooth, there will always be times when you want to give up. But it’s the people who DON’T give up who succeed. Because eventually everything you’re trying to achieve or wanting to happen, and are working towards, will add up. Everything counts. What you do today determines your tomorrow. So tomorrow, do you want to be looking back at another failed attempt, because you gave in to your excuses again? Or do you want to look back and see that you took another step? That you got through the low… that you decided to believe you ARE strong regardless of those low points. Because those low points determine your strength. They determine how committed you are. Because you have to realise that with every low, there is always an up.

Think about how much in your heart you want this change! Use the emotion of desire and want for change to completely flip the thoughts of negativity and defeat. IMAGINE yourself WITH confidence. Feel how fucking good it would feel knowing YOU have changed that for yourself!!

You need to feel the feeling of doubt every time you’re about to give up. Witness it for what it is, but then tap in that emotion… the emotion behind the WHY.

If you’re not enjoying what you’re doing, try another way, do a different thing. Go to a different place, see another person – but stand STRONG in your own skin for all that it is right now. Take responsibility for ALL that you are, but grab yourself by the hand and drag yourself away…from the excuses. Know, that no matter what obstacles cloud your mind, you ARE on your way. Just please, DO NOT give up.
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#youAREstrong

Hashtag #youAREstrong, is my way of raising awareness of the fact that we all ARE strong. We all have strength within us. It’s just about BELIEVING it, and staying committed to this version of ourselves – the strong version. The souls within us that are inifinte and capable of anything. What the mind believes the body achieves, and so if you THINK you are strong, and body has to follow.

Tag me in your stories on Instagram telling me that you ARE strong. @bodylovemind #youAREstrong

Louise xxx

One thought on “Giving Up

  1. For some of us it isn’t possible to give up. Education comes from the root ‘educe’ which means to draw out the inherent good… classical education compliments study with the gymnasium (Hermes – or Mercury and Gemini).
    Having worked out one’s values and place in society (service) we simply do.
    Serenity and boredom are very similar… merely perspective and strength.
    If someone tries to hurt me and I have not provoked them, I know I am walking in step.
    I love all you Americans…. Republicans and Democrats.

Please, share with me your thoughts. I'd love to hear them!